Neil: First of all, how are you Griff?

Griff: I’m very well thank you for asking.

N: We’ve approached you because we’ve noticed you share similar sartorial tastes to us. Not only have we spied you in numerous reputable clothes shops up and down the country but we’ve also seen you sporting some fine Italian garments on screen.
It’s clear you haven’t just had these items hastily handed to you by a stylist, so when did you first become aware of Stone Island and C.P. Company clothing?

G: I’m afraid I do have a lot of stuff from C.P. When I’m going out on my travels in the wet and cold I tend to find that the stuff they have is a bit better than others but not necessarily as waterproof as the stuff that you can buy in a mountain shop.

N: Do you have a large collection? What are your favourite pieces?

G: I very much like a simple brown mac which i have and am greatly enamoured with. I used to wear a stone coloured rather rustle-y anorak with a hood a lot and for some reason it used to annoy Rory McGrath. Not quite sure why. I think it might have been a little too cool and he likes to look like a builders mate. Another thing I do like is a flat fronted sweatshirt thing made of sweatshirt material with a panel at the front which i think is flattering as the panel smoothes over the man boobs.

N: Are we the first people to pick up on this or have you had other people writing in asking why you’re at the top of the Notre Dame cathedral with goggles in your hood?

G: People are fascinated not so much by the goggles on the hood but by the window on the side of the sleeve and I’ve had a lot of questions about that and had to explain that I assume so you could look at your watch.

I wish the goggle was slightly smaller to be absolutely honest as its a bit too prominent on some of the things I wear.

N: Are there any other brands/style of clothing you’re a big fan of?  What do you look for in a garment?

G: I buy quite a lot from Margaret Howell which is slightly down the other end of the market, but she is still a rather expensive male fashion designer with a sort of retro look.

Nobody has ever assumed that I have any fashion taste at all, in fact I get letters from people complaining about how scruffy I am on TV!

N: What clothing do you opt for when sailing the high seas?

G: If I go sailing on the high seas I tend to buy specially made clothing for it. What I used recently in the Scottish Highlands is a complete dry suit in which you put your neck through a sort of condom at one end and zip yourself right into it and you stay completely dry underneath.

I have decided that that is exactly what I need on my boat, otherwise if its sunny I’ll wear a t-shirt and jeans.

N: When I spoke to Keith Floyd (clang) about sartorial style he said, like his hero Alan Whicker he thought he owed it to his audience to dress smartly. What influences you when you’re choosing what to wear on screen?

G: I’ve never tried very hard to dress smartly although I do think I look smart. As I’ve said, I get letters from people who complain bitterly. Once when I did a John Betjemen programme wearing a rather natty peacoat (which I’ve subsequently lost) which was by Dolce and Gabbana, I got a letter from a man who was incensed that I would do a programme on poetry and not try to look smart.

So I’m just one of those people on whom clothing funnily enough doesn’t look smart. I’m just the wrong height and shape. Most people when they meet me say ‘oh your not as fat as I thought you were’. For some reason because of my round face I come across fatter than I am on the telly.

N: You’ve recently done some programmes about Cities. Where are your favourite places to pick up clothes? It was a great series, are there any more cities to come?

G: Probably New York but London is very well equipped. I went to Milan once and went to the sales there. If I had all my time to do nothing but behave like a playboy I would go to Milan to the sales and buy clothes there. Milan is rather extraordinary but unfortunately I haven’t managed to persuade them to do Milan as one of the greatest cities.

N: Whilst we’re on the subject of clothing, one particularly enduring image I have of you is from some-time in the 80s when you walked onstage to a packed crowd at the Davenport theatre, Stockport in full bondage gear (and nothing else) to pretty much a standing ovation. Tell me that wasn’t some strange dream, it really happened didn’t it??

G: It did really happen, it used to be the opening of a show that I did with Mel. I’d come on with a great-coat late and take it off to reveal that I was wearing bondage gear it was a cheap gag but a good one. We never had any expensive gags as we never had the money to spend on writers and writers wouldn’t work for us so we had to do cheap ones.

N: We followed your anger programme with much amusement as well as empathy. How is the temper these days? Any tips for avoiding dragging people out of their car windows when they pinch our parking space at Tescos?

G: Funnily enough I’m not violent like that, I am a coward. What I get angry with is people in authority who set themselves up in authority . I tend to lose my temper with people who are often blameless but I think they are somehow either making more work for me or causing me anguish by not doing what they should be doing. This causes me to get in a froth and write them a rude email. Rarely am I angry face to face. I’m too cowardly and timid really.

N: When can we see you on our screens next?

G: I’m doing a programme on Rivers in which I shall wear a wonderful collection of CP stuff. I now have too many jackets as you can imagine.

We’d like to thank Griff for answering our nosey questions and cheers for being one of the few people on TV who doesn’t make us want to throw the remote at the screen because they’re wearing a shit coat.

This interview by Neil first appeared in the ever excellent Proper Magazine issue no 7.